I went to therapy again today she said I have just been trying to survive for months now and kept myself from touching the void as I have termed it. She told me to put my hand on the part of my body where the pain radiates from and let my hands warmth heal that part of me. Her parting words were, "it is a tough world out there." I thought of these words on the bus on the way home as my mind edged toward thoughts of cutting my own throat. I placed my left hand against the nape of my neck. I felt my heart beating. The tears came rolling down my face. The lady in front of me turned around and asked me for directions. I did not have the answer, she apologized and turned around. The banality of life surfaced in that moment and the thought passes.
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