10 Step Guide On To How To Crucify A Hipster With A Pair Of Scissors

10 Step Guide On To How To Crucify A Hipster With A Pair Of Scissors

1. With the scissors puncture their tires on their fixes or push bikes.
2. Cut their shoelaces.
3. Attack their clothes cutup their ironic knitted sweater.
4. Or buttoned to the top shirt perhaps their bow tie.
5. Cut up their Skinny maroon jeans.
6. Snip off their hairdo swirl quiff or cut off their top knot.
7. Cut off their fucking Ned Kelly pimping beards or mustaches.
8. Snip their conspicuous thick rimmed non prescription glasses in half.
9. Stab with the scissors in the holy stigmata stab their Jesus phone face up. (Now naked, hairless and disorientated as they can not use the Google maps to get to safety)
10. For the final most cruelest yet most humane act would be to cut off both their thumbs.

You can buy another pair of skinny jeans, another knitted sweater or  Jesus phone Jesus now has a retail value I believe it is $599.00 but you only get two thumbs in this life.

That is how to crucify a hipster with a pair of scissors in 10 Steps.