I feel the void inside me... I fill it with caffeine, cigarettes and alcohol. My lover would think it is because he is not beside me, my mother says it is my lack of subbmission my godlessness that just leaves me unfulfilled.
Both god and love don’t live here in this city.
I seem to believe it is Sydney a young city that deprives me of a wholeness this tired deadbeat soulless ville, where people stare through me, the crowds with their dead eyes or heads bowed looking at their Jesus phones. The familiarity that breeds contempt even as I watch Chippendale rise again the cranes that push and pull the sky closer, skeletons that will haunt the skyline for centuries to come. I feel defeated by my city. I will have to retreat the battle lost long ago. I wish I came of age in a simpler time where my peers the designerati do not have to exchange tips of where to buy discount fresh produce.
We design, plan, approve buildings and apartments we cannot afford to live in or speculate upon and would not choose to regardless of price as they are banal hideous forms. We all know these forms have more to do with filling the client’s pockets than the slogans that we write about such as lifestyle, urbanism and sustainability. Through the lens of marketing the way many words become unrecognisable fallen by the wayside, to the point they have lost all meaning they are just empty they hold no promise so now these words repel me.
I bide my time here waiting for the day I too am pushed out and beyond by a word I learnt at university - gentrification - a form or urbanism much to do with winners and losers.
One day I to will be pushed out not made out of the right stuff in this shrewd city that I call home. There were no answers at university to the questions I posed of this type of socio-spatial economic restructuring and I do not see any answers anytime over the horizon or beyond the cranes that rise over Chippendale.
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